Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Come on in and take your pants off
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