We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize