doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
