one might say we're banned from that church
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
