My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
