I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
