I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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