your room smells of hookers.
And success
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
