who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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