I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
