My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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