is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
