Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
