My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
