a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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