ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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