Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
