dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
