The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
