Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules