I just pynch a tree in the face
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah