i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.