Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize