just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself