Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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