OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize