I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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