Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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