Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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