sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize