I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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