She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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