If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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