I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I will die if light touches me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
