My brain says no but my pants say off.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
