i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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