Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
