She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
