i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
