1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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