dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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