Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
