I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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