i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
