Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize