sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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