hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
