dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
