how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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