Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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