Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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