Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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