My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
