He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
