I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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