I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize