just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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