Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
