It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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