i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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