i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
