How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
