i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
