you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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