That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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